About ten years ago, there was a period of time (several months) where I had a series of consecutive dreams that I called my "house dreams". I would always find myself in a huge mansion with an seemingly endless amount of rooms, and I was always aware that I was dreaming. All the windows to the outside world were nailed shut, and each room held a challenge, a riddle or something that seemed to be taken straight out of a nightmare – dead bodies, bleeding walls, stuff like that. Two very dear friends of mine would sometimes wander around the house, and I would randomly meet them here and there. They would comment on rooms ahead that I hadn't discovered yet, and sometimes say stuff like: "Your subconscious is really messed up, you know that?" I knew that there was ONE room that held perfect happiness, but entering it would kill me. Still, I would search for that room and I even found it a couple of times – when I opened the door, a golden glow and a warmth would emit from inside, and I would enter without hesitation and die. (Yes, I'm aware that any psychiatrist would have a field day with that.) Did I wake up at the point? Sometimes I did, but sometimes I had a false awakening instead (I didn't know that it was called that at the time, of course). I would "wake up", get out of bed and go down to the kitchen to make myself a snack or something like that. While I was going down the stairs, a black rot, for lack of a better word, would start to bloom on the walls and spread very quickly. When I reached the kitchen, the walls around me started to crumble and open the view to an endless night where black creatures moved, barely visible, and whispered in a strange harsh language. THAT is when I would startle myself awake for real. Eventually, the House dreams just stopped. And to be honest, as nightmarish as they were at times, I still miss them. Now that I would love to learn to lucid dream, I find it very hard to even fill a dream diary because I hardly ever remember my dreams... For a while, I randomly watched LD content on Youtube, avoiding anything that promised results in five minutes, reality shifting or "buy this and you can LD today!", but with no results. But I'm determined and have just started the '30 Days of Lucid Dreaming Lessons'. Lucid Dream Portal seems promising because it doesn't promise easy results. In my experience, very few things in life just fall into your lap. I'm worried, though – I suffer from schizoaffective disorder, and at the time I had my house dreams, I wasn't diagnosed yet and thus was unmedicated. The house dreams stopped around the time I started taking antipsychotics, which I still take every day. I worry that I might never be able to LD because of that.
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